I look back on the last 26 years of my life, and like most other moms, I see my life filled with my children - their needs, their wants, and my desire to make sure that they are in need of nothing. What did that mean for me? It meant that taking care of my needs, wants and desires took a backseat. I did not eat the way that I should have, I did not exercise, and I did not take time for myself. So what happpened? I gained weight...and I would lose some of what I gained....and then I would gain it back and then some....and then I would lose a few pounds...and then I gained those pounds back, and they brought even more pounds with them! I was miserable within my own skin, and the scale moved ever closer to 300 lbs, which added HORROR to my misery.
I contemplated PhenFen when it was popular years back - but was too afraid to ask my physician about it. I tried Weight Watchers, no carbs, NutriSystems, South Beach diets...if it was out there, I tried it. Did any of it work - yes, for a short time, and then I fell back into the bad habits that got me to 294 lbs. I was also addicted to Diet Coke - drinking sometimes more than 2 2-liter bottles a day. I did not function without it. No coffee, no tea, no juice, no water - just Diet Coke.
I first heard of gastric band surgery through a co-worker, and her story was not a success story. She had many problems, and nearly died of surgical complications. Other people I work with also started looking into the surgery and several had good outcomes. It was only after a close friends husband had his surgery that I really took a good hard look as gastric banding. He did so well, and was such a resource for me. I knew I needed to take control of my life, and the time was now.
I spent several weeks online, researching hospitals, the surgery itself, and most importantly, physicians who perform the procedure. I have two hospitals in my local area, and neither one offer gastric banding, so I needed to look further away. I again looked to my friend's husband and the hospital at which he had his surgery. I then "googled" all the doctors who perform this surgery at this hospital, and I was pleased to find one of the Northeast region top surgeons practicing there. So, working up the courage, I called the number listed on the hospital website. I really think I was on the verge of tears. I set up a date to attend their mandatory informational session on July 1,2009. I think the hour drive into the city was one of the longest drives of my life - and I talked to myself the entire way - all about was this the right option for me, am I strong enough to do this, how do I get past the fear that this too will fail? However, when I walked into the hospital auditorium, I was greeted by people just like me. All heavy, all there for the same reason that I was - we all wanted our lives back!
After the informational session, and filling out paperwork, the physicans office called me to set up my first appointment with the surgeon and his PA. I set that up for the following week, and by the end of July, my appointments with the nutritionist and psychologist were set up also. I could start to see a glimmer of light at end of the tunnel! I had hope! Now, I just needed to get the approval of my insurance company.
By the middle of September, I completed all of my sessions with the nutritionist, and the psychologist, and told them both that I know this is a life long commitment to me, and not a magic wand that will make the weight fall off me. I was going to have to work for this - and I was ready. I was even calling my health insurance company weekly to see what else they needed in order to approve my surgery. Imagine the surprise when my phone rang on October 1, 2009, and it was the surgeons office. I was approved, and now it was time to set up a surgery date - how about October 19th? I was so happy, and I started to cry immediately. Tears poured down my cheeks as I wrote down everything the nurse told me. and that light...the one at the end of the tunnel....it was getting bigger and bigger.
I will post more of my story another day.
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